rain on me
Friday, September 29, 2006 | 8:17 PM

2 papers down. GP and Econs. (:
I am glad I manage to finish the GP paper although Hem claims it to be hard which means I prolly misread some stuff cos I thought it was still do-able?
I will tear the econs paper when I get back my paper. It was so badly written I hoped I didn't take econs. But then again, compared to many others who didn't have time to at least attempt all questions or blanked during the paper, I am one lucky man.

Oh and I am going to give up on H1 math. It's not like there's a lot to do abt it but I haven't been consistent with it and I really shouldn't bother with last minute work on it given how godly my math is. heh.

I can finally see the doctor tmr- with thanks to econs . tsk.

Sunday, September 24, 2006 | 1:48 AM

Since goal setting doesn't work too well with me I decided to look further than setting those goals byond my reach. I shall dwell deeper and think abt smth tt wld garner a greater motivational force, that is, things-I've-always-wanted-to-do-but-hv-no-time (or didn't notice).

  • Sleep for full 10 hours. (for WEEKS)
  • Learn Photoshop (I do know navigation and editting but the end-result is kinda bullshit)
  • Learn Paintshop Pro (applies like the abv)
  • Party- now that I'm 18. It's not like I've been waiting to be 18 to do this but it just happens I've nv found time to do so. Shall hook james to go with me. I know he's so un-party-like. (eh you don't laugh or deny this! You know you're a nehneh)
  • Photo-snapping spree/learn to capture moments carrying all the rich emotions. awww.
  • Arrange and burn all those photos/pics in my computer which is currently carrying gigabytes of videos. I'm afraid the PC might just give up on me someday and I'd lose really precious photos.
  • Buy A DVD burner and burn all those charmed/movies.
  • Re-decide my decision to leave track and field cos I'm tired of competitive running. It's so sudden but I don't know why I feel so. Perhaps too long a break frm trg.
  • Write letters to all the teachers I know of/taught me once or more cos I didn't on tchr's day and I felt tt I need to thanks them and allow them to know hw impt they are in our quest of paperchase.
  • Go crazy and tan with Jehanne and maybe the rest @ Sentosa? (I don't doubt, I'm unsure only)
  • etc etc etc...

Hey that's pre-promo-therapy for me (altho it doesn't have a direct academic-proportionate effect) But I don't give a damn. heh.

Friday, September 22, 2006 | 11:51 PM

Neutral we think, biased it is.

Before I begin, if you find the following entry random where you have a pbm stringing up what I'm blabbering then pardon me but ignore and forget whatever I say. If you find it callous, unacceptable, rude yadda yadda, then don't read it as the author does not limit what he says/feels as it can be drawn out from an entire imagination/nightmare. Hold your horses, it's not neutral albeit an attempt to. Objectivity vs subjectivity- which side are you on?

To begin there was never 'the 7 of us'. It's just you, you, you, you and her, you and finally me alone. There is a mixture along that line of you-s, sometimes a pair, sometimes a crowd/group/alone. My point is whoever said we have to be together as a piece of inseparable comprising 7? It prolly rose out from a generalization that everyone adopted sooner or later for convenience sake. Now we assume things; we are one or at least we oh-so-attempt-to.

The KFC thrashing session was useless. I went that day prepared for more blunt issues- issues which weren't brought up on that particular Monday. I knew I committed a sin. I went out with a group that has parties still unwilling to open up and talk. If you're willing to start a table of 7 discussing a major problem with this 'us' and knowing how impossible it is to gather everyone on a day in a short time, for a short while, then shouldn't everything be made clear with the rules drawn out? Instead, I felt the excitement over a meal together. Are we naive? How many times are you willing to fall/get slapped? We left that day with more complications. It was superficial. Hardly anyone spoke everything on their mind. One only answered to questions in defense. Some added opinions. Then we digressed a couple of times. Was it a thrash-out session or was it all faked.

Self-centered vs AA.
Would you dare say someone AA has more negative attributes than someone self-centered? How far would you go in life if everything revolves around you? How would you respond to community around you? An event not in favour of you, a situation you dislike, a comment you are unable to swallow, a person you disagree with, an idea conflicting yours, a fact you can't accept, an incident you don't expect… You allow yourself to be unreceptive to ideas, facts, opinions, comments that MAY offer a better cause. Being forceful, demanding and to the extent of annoyance, disrespect and defiance towards opinions/ideas are attributes of a self-centered mind. AA- it can be an action out to attract attention on a severely wrong note that is annoying and result with others scorning at you or it just happens that you, being different, created an attention which you didn't call for. My definitions might be inaccurate. In comparison with being self-centered what is worse? Which would be enough to summon an entire crowd of haters and spites? Which would be a long-term, permanent problem for an individual? Is your list of friends long? Those we found true- are they accepting you because they know you are a true friend to them or are they too tired and have given up hope on you to change for your better? How would you define true? Allowing you to rot or adapting to changes? You may beg to differ that our pitiful begging and whining for changes are selfish for personal reasons but would these selfish reasons for you to adapt be the same reasons why in the near future you have unforeseen problems in your workplace, you family/relatives and your friends? Would you be able to change then? Would you be able to adapt- or perish?
An AA character, the 'subtle' one, can never be a serious problem. It just attracts different perople- those unable to accept leave but those who are able and perhaps have the same traits flock together. Tell me anyone willing to flock with you w/o any pang of disgust IF you're self-centered. It radiates and surround you with layers of detestation. Would you live to bear that fate? Or would you go crazy from feeling hurt when the society points its finger at you accusingly? I hope you get my drift and consider the consequences.

Objectivity vs Subjectivity.
Are you objective when you threw such nasty comments? Nobody can be bitchier in our class than me. What you've seen of me is only the skin. Have you gotten past the layers of my mind? I am willing to turn nasty, wicked and manipulative to scare you for your own good. I am capable of that I know. Would you then still be as unwilling to change? It may result in you changing for your own gain or it will turn sour and our actions get ugly. Many often preach of how the friendship is oh-so-important to them, how they are willing to compromise but it superficial? I'll be frank with you; I have no obligations to stick with anyone. I am Teflon or at least I undertake. When one of you asked me how close /unafraid to disclose opinions to the rest of you in the '7 of us', my answer was straight- none. I'll be on my guard. Since all of us are on our guards. If all of us wear amours and carry shields, nobody will get injured so long we're not attacking but how long would you be able to carry/wear them? I am not tired yet. Remember, it's only 2 years and being Teflon means it's nth to me. The shields and amours would still be shiny at the end of my journey here in college. Carrying and wearing them is not a problem cos polishing/hardening them is.

Lastly, (this entry is getting on forever because there are too many unsettled things with much thanks to our guards) I am unwilling to be associated with anymore of the issues but at this level, it gets so annoying and being related although not necessarily involved, I cannot allow this to disturb my peace. I'll stay out of this. I will try but I would not promise because who are you to demand my promise? You think you're worth me? Is this me being self-centered? Or is this a refection of you? That question is not written to stimulate your reflection as I mean it literally. My point is I don't want to care as much as I've already typed this essay but your actions are stepping on my toes and I'm flinging you off them. If this is how far I fling you with my toes, try my fingers. I am not just another bastard-bitch you have witnessed, I am worse. If you tread on any part of me, I show aggression and if it has to kill then you would have to take the blow be it survivable or not.
Watch your back- if.

Sunday, September 17, 2006 | 11:56 PM

Plans for the week:
  • Do not go for PE anymore. after what Mr-Beijing-102 did to me.
  • Skip any GP lessons if necessary.
  • Mug
  • Mug
  • Mug
  • Mug
  • Mug
  • Eat chocloates/cheese/yogurt/greentea/junk food.
  • SLEEP- I am fucking lacking this.

Sry fr the lack in entries. I hv been lost and am still lost in my mugging schedule which isn't really followed. I curse/swear/spit every fucking day cos frm now on my life wld rot in the books and burn as if flames are trapped in my veins. I love you promos.

Brrr.

If you're not tolerable, you are not tolerable.

Thursday, September 07, 2006 | 10:52 PM

I just printed the exam timetable!!!
So early.

| 10:21 PM

I need the happy-tree-friends.
chain me.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006 | 4:01 PM

Epitome of a week-long-holiday-mugger-wannabe-failing-to-so-for-the first-1.5days.

Ytd
Chemistry supp lessons/test. Pretty sure I might just fail this test cos I didn't even finish it. Oh and tt's just intro to org chem. WOW. Had lunch with Su and wx afterwhich shu yun joined us. Went back to sch by 2.30 which means we spent 2.5 hrs having lunch. Girls are really slowpokes esp wx ytd. Thank god we didn't have to tolerate shu yun's pentium 0.5 eating habits. :p
TRIED to mug in e lib but fell aslp for half an hour. So at the end of the day, with much thanks to distractions, I completed four plus pages of market failure. I love my reading speed. And I only read those pages.

Today
Woke up at 1pm aft sleeping for like 9+ hrs. The night before was hilarious altho I don't find it funny anymore. I spent most of the time after I woke up, laughing w/ bro abt some stupid underwear joke. Caterpillar-cocoon-butterfly. Now I fixed my internet back to an unsecured connection fr better dl speeds. It kills me to see I'm dl-ing at 5kb/s. It wld takes me vagina years to get one song down- not to mention movies. And wx bombed me with this list of to-dl. I'll start charging you soon wx. Very cheap. I go by $/mb. hehs.

Ok anyway frm tmr onwards (sinceI prolly can't do much today alr) I shall work twds being the epitome of a freaking successful mugger with some time left to party my tiresome brain cells. Watch me. (so remind me of the shu yun-alton-trackmeet thing)

I'll be the single-crippling force, breaking all the limbs of opposing forces.

Friday, September 01, 2006 | 4:09 PM

Camera/Photo- snap.

See what I mean of cameras that are hot? DAMN the craaaaaaazy slim casio. The soon-to-be-my ixus 65 shall dominate. I sound like childhoood-deprived. Anyway, once I get the ixus, I wld no longer take such lousy shots.


Took them aft the waffle-ing aft e performance while walking to the bus stop. Nice weather I say. The other pics are random pics of bitches of the class. I bet they didn't know I took a back shot. I'm nt a pervert but photos of ppl's back has this artsy feel to it, no? (: Posted by Picasa

| 2:10 PM

Went to sch really late but almost in time for the tchr's day concert. Altho I was really mad at bro for not charging wx's ipod vid aft using it last night cos I had to charge it in the morning to trnasfer the converted files into the ipod and all desktops cannot recognise ipod vid/nano when they're out of batt life. So I spent time charging and tryig to fix my computer which was shut down improperly by my dad in the morning who assumed it was off alr. And so he clicked the main switch off and shortened my desktop's lifespan. THANK YOU DAD. You just risked ur pockect money for a trillionth time. Rushed dwn to get a cab in the rain which was in vain cos the bus arrived before an available cab was in view. Being at least 100m away frmn the bus-stop I literally sprinted my way there in a huff and I'm proud to say I reached the bus in time. Thanks to all that track trg huh! High-knee, arm-swing, land on the ball.

I got to sch only to be caught by the DM (or so I thought) at the side-gate. He must be taken aback tt a TP student is coming into the sch at this time of the day when hordes are prolly trying to get out or in my opinion alr got out. hehs. So when I was asked, 'why did you come sch for given it's alr 11.15?' My not-so-proud answer came, 'for the concert's sake'. For a moment I thought it was most stupid to say that but it came frank to me. The tchr's day show was pretty cool. Alothugh some bands didn't quite get to showcase their potential/talents with the lousy sound system which cracked a few times- makes me wonder where the few tenths of thousands went to when they calimed to have brought in better sound systems. The class's turnout is truly sad. Admist all our business or more like smokescreened differences, we shld really put them aside for the sake of our tired tchrs who had to go through a lot just to get out butts dwn for attention. Ms Sha must be upset but I swear I hope our class wld be less of a burden fr her nxt yr if we promote as a class which I doubt we will. I am haughty and egoistic so I'm nt afraid to say I wld- or rather have to. Ms Sha, preganant yet carry a load heavier than her baby must have been tiring and boring. Our class ain't bonded as we seem to the rest of the world. Noisy as we are, we fit the title empty vessels, for now that is. Insulting for us but it is prolly a label much attached to us from the tchrs.

Went to waffle w/ wx and shu yun before boarding bus to expo w/ sy. It may be raining and a half-day fr school but the Comex 2006 isn't given a chance to breathe with ppl swarming the place like wtf. I caught sight of the iRiver which I think mum shld get cos her current mp3 is just friggin pathetic. I saw many other things I want to buy like the hybrid-silicon flexible keyboard (not bra) which cost only $18. How cheap can things get. The there's the long awaited DVD-RW which I bought at $18 only to realise I don't have a DVD burner, only reader. Immediately I felt loser-ish once at home. Anyway, there's the printer ink, RAM, SDmini cards and sorts, linksys adapter, webcam and obviously the DIGITAL IXUS 65. It's just hawwwwt. Undeniably smahing other cameras' ego when placed alongside. Err, ok maybe except the stupid casio which is just a bimbo, nice to look at but shit snapshots. And when I tried the autofocus fuction, its screen flashes and bring me back to the same blur viewfinder. Although if I can find a solution to that pbm, I say it's a hot camera. Too bad, I rather play on the safe side and stick with the renowned Canon. ((: I AM GOING TO GET IT THIS TIME. Yeaa, with Dad being fragged with me later to get it and all the other stuff I saw and wrote on this list.

Haughty is my game.
Nobody beats it to my name.