Saturday, July 15, 2006 | 7:42 PM

When fairness wipes its ass at your face, the sun would rise from the west, the pigs would fly and I'll be fucking your grandma.

Had time trials in the morning. Only recieved msges frm coach and fabian in the morning like 8.45am. I can't believe in the sch's inbox inefficiency or did my phone screw up so badly I recieved msges 10 hours late. Before I begin, I'm sure anyone can tell I didn't get in. Did a 10.8/11.2 and bryan did 11.1 or smth. I can't believe Fabian actually voted for bryan?? I mean like c'mon. The whole 4by1 team of 3 ppl voted against me. How good am I suppose to feel? The rest of the ppl present voted bryan too. Only 1/8 was for me. And I am so glad Leroy told me or I wld have thought it was prolly Fabian or Andrew or Genever. Thanks guys. I so needed to see who you were siding. Its not like a war b/w me and bryan; ultimately this race would definitely be of a greater significance to me than him. I joined track since last yr's PAE. I was the only loser tt stayed this long and my attendance prolly thrash everyone else until the day where I declared war over smth. This yr I'm gg to attend nationals again and I'm gg as a supporter. The thrill you get in the seats. It's so exicitng. After trg for more than a yr, I'm gg as a spectator while someone else run my race? And Fabian told me to stay on form, mentally prepared to run anytime cos Bryan felt sick. I had a 1-7 vote raio and you're telling to be prepared to run? I had the whole team not voting for me after I trained for so long and played a part in the semis? And I'm expected to run for the team tt was not for me? I don't believe in reserves. They're just there because the word reserve exists. Wld a team win by using a reserve? Get real. I'm not defined as a reserve and I wld not run if anything happens to Bryan. We're in top 8 anyway. That was so echoed. So who's claiming the colours award? It doesn't makes me feel better to remember tt Bryan's timing was done without a control. Who said there's to be fairness and transparency in decision? Who wanted only today's timings to be included? Who wanted consistency? I have trusted the wrong person. One whom I look up to more than the captain in many aspects have wronged my judgement. I guess I was never part of the team. Thank you and have a nice day.

Meet-parents-session was ok. Somehow I felt Ms Sha had been too kind with her remarks/comments abt me. I'm nt a very gd boy. I have the ugliest side nobody saw. I am just the pretty box with with worms and maggots rotting so badly inside you're thankful you didn't open it up. I am happy to do well for Bio. I mean the last time I topped the cohort in a subject was in sec 2 so how good can I feel? urgh. I'm not in any mood to engage in self-optimism. I am drowned by anger and disappointment. I want my revenge.

Who desired and dreamt of running the finals for a team. I am in the wrong place all this while.

p.s. syed told me not to take it too hard. I rmbr only 1 vote fr me and it wasn't frm him. thanks.