Wednesday, March 15, 2006 | 10:17 PM

Went for e-filing trg or rather, the talk. It is so boring that I fell aslp with my mouth wide open like the most polite person ever. rofl. I seriously wonder how the hell i"m going to settle the e-filing thing on the actual day. Pray hard I won't screw things up. On 2nd thoughts, we're not liable for any declarations from the tazpayers so I'll heck it la. :p nah. I'm just joking.

trg today sure was demoralising. At 1st I was sort of upset that we're doing fielders' trg cos I simply dislike field events. (cos I can't jump nor throw) So when Mr Santa Claus (name*) and the other indian/eurasian coach came to train us I wasn't enthu la. Perhaps I was tired and so I kept really quiet. But they are really gret coaches who (unlike some coach) pat u on the back aft u completed each set of trg. It felt better la. I seriously was damn demoralized aft trg today.
Its pretty sensitive. 1stly I heard Andrew mentioning some guy called Raj or smth. A new j1 frm sji who can do 100m in ard 11+. Knowing I can't even hit 12 flat now is really bad. It is so bad that I dunno what's my pb. It is pointless to anyway. 2ndly, looking at Andrew and Khai and the rest who joined us recently, I realised I'm making no progress frm my past status. With ppl catching up with me and setting better time trials, I doubt my ability. Ironic it is but I doubt myself now. I used to be so full of myself and only fearing those clear gd ones like Haikal or Vikram. What's with me man. wtf la. 3rdly, Andrew is really hyper and it is hard sometimes to make/remind/coax/persuade/push myself to do more. It is so tiring. I fear losing yet I refuse to put in effort. It's the same in academic and sports. It wasn't like this in the past. I think I'm lazy and not disciplined. It's time to get back my fighting spirit of being a perfectionist. RAWR.

Maybe I'm just tired. I dunno but I really fear.