Sunday, December 25, 2005 | 11:51 PM

Ok this may come as a shock or perhaps you alr expected out of me. Yea. I chose to retain alright. I seriously see no reason for me to force myself do a subject combi that I have problems with. Don't get me wrong. I love Bio and Chem and I never planned give up on them until this minute. Ok allow me to correct myself. I'm surrendering myself to the slavery of tiresome maths lectures. Erm. It still doesn't sound right. Whatever it is. I know I can't cope with C math and I'm switching combi. On the brightside, I'm offered ahem opportunities to do the new syllabus. You know what, tt's just a fucking excuse. It wasn't a tough decision cos all I got to do was cast aside all the loud voices screaming shame and dishonour. Of course ppl like Derick and weimin said I was, well, brave enough to choose retain. I'm aware the sch wld be lenient w/ the topical tests and I wld be able to scrap through them and get promoted. But was that what I want? ..to struggle next yr's math when both my bio and chem foundation's like shit. I really have no slight intention to spoil the As cert. I must sound oxymoron for I AM gg to retain and yet I claim to show concerns of my studies. Ok man. Its also for the same reason I chose to do so. Ugh.. forget abt the rantings. I know I'll miss 05s09 so dearly. And I'll nt be able to graduate with not just them but all the other friends frm tpj or elsewhere. The feeling of being left on the sidewalk all alone yea. Give me a deep breath and a sigh. I needed that.

So how exactly did I come to this decision. Simple. I went for Math tuition last friday and boy was it stressful for me. I admit it. I broke dwn totally and wept like a little kid. When was the last time I shed those tears? When I last sneezed so badly during a flu. And so I realised I just can't do cmath. Its like some ppl just cant roll their tongues k. And I wanna thank the trackers in sch on Friday for hearing me out after I whined like a stupid dog. Albeit their persusaion to push fr it and Mardiah's really insistent tone that anybody can do anything coupled with Bertina's don't give up tog w/ Zixiang's keep trying.. I still made up my mind.

Anyway on a way lighter note, on that same Friday, I manage to help out the trackers with the banner making although I bet I did one of the least work due to the somewhat depression. It didn't turn out as perfect as I thought frmt he draft made by Bryan but its ok. We're all new to banner making eh?
Oh yea I found smth interesting in sch tt day too. Check this out:
Yea. Now I understand the term of the exam phobia or in this case the hatred. rofl. Oh yea. Last but nt the least Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. ((: