Friday, May 27, 2005 | 11:19 PM

Will things ever be the same again

Mom got admitted into hospital again. Her conditions ain't getting better. I'm panicking. The doc did mention tt if her op takes place now, she has 90% chances of dying frm it. I'm nt exaggerating. She has heart disease in her younger days. Sighs~ I can't do much but pray harder fr her. And of cos lighten the family's load by doing more hsewk? I suppose I can. Or rather I must.

Today went sch v late. Slept v late last night. I couldn't slp. I hv no wish to type it here. All I can say is tt I'm disappointed. Slept in library frm morning 8 till 11.30. I think I'm the record holder fr slping tt long in the library. Lols. Only attended one lecture on Bio. Then aft sch went w/ Tmo, Joanne and Nicholas to the prata shop. Then back to sch fr track trg.

Trg was really shiok today. Slacky. Perhaps just the first part. We did starts. And its the proper one. With measurements and start blocks. Cool~ And I learnt tt I've been doing horrid starts cos I used the wrong leg to push off all along. The starting blocks are so cool. And coach said we can cut dwn 0.1-0.2s w/ gd starts. Nt much but quite a lot fr sprints. Then we did the slopes. As usual, I chose nt to do it w/ the sprinters. I mean, its really nt easy to do w/ them since they're all j2s and check out their speeds.. its freaking fast. But I ain't doing well either cos I can't last. And the 8 times we did, I guess only 4 was 100% effort. Zzzzzzzz Feel so guilty. Sighs. I pity him. Its really nt easy to take 2 blows in 2 days. If I were him I wld nt be able to take it so calmly. But lets hope fr the better in the Wings yea? I'm gg to prove them wrong. If I can beat ******* in 100m, it gotta be the Wings. Nt much time left. Its like within 2 weeks and I'll be running like some cheapo. Wth.

Went home bathed and went fr guitar nite. It so rocks. I didn't those gals to play/sing so well fr the song by Maroon 5. I almost teared. ALMOST. But I didn't. Cos its too hard. Too hard to hold back or too hard to tear.. I'm nt sure. The world seems to hv come to an end. I was so envious when I saw... Nvm. Guitar nite was fantastic. I didn't espect it to be tt gr8. But again... haiz~ I'm such a failure. I deserve to be stabbed to death. Zzzzzzzzz

Aft tt went w/ James and haihui to mac fr supper. Talked a lot. Can't believe it. Even tho Haihui just knew each other. They opened up well. LOLS. But I guess we all need some relief aft this stupid term ends. Sighs.

Track camp. Whose idea was it? I don't know what to say. I shld be happy but again... zzzzz.