Friday, February 25, 2005 | 9:57 PM

Confession, Conclusion, Clarifictaion...

Ytd didn't come online... was bz making e friendship cards which I disappointingly didn't complete making... I only completed fr PRCSians and my OGLs and Sarah's. I'm very slow at it. And I slept only at 3am. So I woke up in e morning at 9 and reached sch by 9.20am. During Chem, I didn't listen to mass Spec at all. Was busy un-entangling the stars tt got entangled altogether. -.- I must say tt I'm very dumb to arrange e cards in such a way tt's so easy fr them to get messed up. Yea~ Want to thank Crys, Chai Yun and Jas fr sacrificing ur time to help me... I apprecaite it! Aft Chem I gave e cards to e rest of the PRCSians... hmmm... I'm gald they're surprised cos if they expected it then there's no excitement right? Skipped Bio prac and went w/ Crys and Jas to buy waffle. Got cheese which is supppose to help me get more fats. Lol! Then had Tennis game where I got sun tanned. Woohoo~! I'm no longer white like china. BUt was a bit burnt on my face tho... shld be due to track's trg? Disappointed w/ trg today. Ran 3x400m of wind-sprints where we sprint then jog then sprint then jog... I think I came in 3rd ar... like shit la... Cos I started like a few secs earlier than e last grp but I'm still overtaken by them... -.-''' I skipped e part where they were doing 100m+200m+300m then 300m, 200m 100m. Reason being tt I had too much ice lemon tea in my stomach so don't want stitches. Tried long jump which I feel tt I'm nt making full use of my long legs... How can I jump such a short distance fr e length of my legs? Was super shag wehn e coach told us to do 'starts'... we have to position ourselves in this crouching way where I actually find tough to start a race. She said it might be due to my height which altered my centre of gravity. I think so too... I almost 'toppled' when I sped too fast. I don't know I accelerate so slowly within e 1st 30m when we did starts... out of 12 starts... I think I came in last few mst of e time... and tok abt ego.. I feel like I'm useless! Aft track trg, gave the cards to e OGLs(soccer)... I appreciate their appreciation... also gave Chiam, Marisa and Claudine theirs when I saw Chiam at e library. Hope they won't mind the lousy folding of e stars.. I jus learnt it nt long ago. And I had to string up e stars using a needle and penknife which I pricked myself countless times... But its ok... as long as I've done my part, I feel a sense of achievement and completion. During track trg, Genever was laughing at me cos my nose was making so much noise due to my flu which STILL haven't recover since Monday! I'm glad tt I held on thru trg w/o collapsing. I had difficulty breathing due to e blocked nose. Bleah~ No wonder I underperformed... XD Took e four track gals (Genever, Kesther, Jean and Ming Faye) photo cos they want me to send to them... Our track's gals nt bad yea~ chio sia... =X And I agree tt Shi Ya hv nice long legs! Its rare... hahax... If she reads this, she will be so proud! XD Feel tt I'm getting to know e track pple well... so might stay in track aft results r out. Initially only joined b'cos I enjoy sprinting and WINNING. But decided tt even if I'm nt e best sprinter I can still make it and rep sch fr competitions tt require a grp such as relay... SO badly wanted to join tennis but know tt chances of getting in is like nil since I've nv played tennis in e past. But Keith said tt I'm talented (woah!) since I can still play despite being only 2nd time I held a tennis racket. But e sch only want ppl going fr competitions... bleah~ Too bad. But look on e bright side.. at least I know I'm nt entirely noob in tennis. =]

I'm very proud to say tt I'm a happy person in TPJC since I stepped in. Got to know lots of pple like the OGLs, OGMs, 05s09, track ppl, tennis ppl, some seasports ppl and of cos all e cool SIRIUS pple!! Hey, we rawks man! Nobody can compete w/ us! We are mst closely bonded... mus thank e OGLs fr being so enthu and 'ON'! I know there are times when I felt tt I'm alone, tt I'm lost and a nobody but I;ve come to realise tt e new envt have some effects over all of us. No longer e PRCS me I guess I gotta move on and start fresh. It may be difficult but I won't give up. Wanna thank all e ppl who made my day EVERYDAY. Be it jus saying a HI or sharing my woes or being disturbed by me on MSN... I wanna thank u all fr e fantastic times I have ever since I stepped into the sch. I know tt some ppl think I'm quiet and refuse to talk much but seriously(siriusly) I yack a lot when u know me. XD I'm nt anti-social... I jus don't know how to start a conversation and I admit tt I'm self-conscious. I fear tt my first impression fr others wld nt be good enuff... so I tend to rather keep my mouth shut when I get to know new ppl... I'll change tt habit la. I wonder how but I'll try! =] Sometimes feel tt I need close peeps to share my feelings and tots... altho I've already got Crys and Pillai and Sarah to help me all these days but I jus can't possibly disturb them all e time so mst of e time I swallow everything dwn. Walking out of e hse at 2am is nt normal... but I suppose some silence and solitude kept me frm breaking dwn... plus all e track trg which allows me to let it all out by sprinting. Os will be out soon. Monday.. I dread ur soon-to-be arrival. I've stated e reasons in my earlier post. I'll hv to accept wad tt comes. Gd luck too all J1s! TPJC or other JC or even some poly... its really a tough choice tt changes ur life entirely. Dun worry... I suppose we'll somehow make it. Be optimistic! (altho I'm also not really so) =]

BTW Joadine said I look like those kind of 'si wen' (polite) kinda person and she can't believe tt I left sch ytd and pon Bio today. Am I? I think I nerd in front of them... why mus I look so nerd!? I already changed my specs wad... XD I think in class I'm so quiet... so unlike other guys... even Timothy is yacking more than me now... can I break away frm this shell and OPEN myself to tok more... I still rmbr Kozaw saying tt I look like I'm suffering tt time I was w/ them. Woah.. I leave such a horrid impression on ppl when I don't tok?! Lols.
Smtimes I feel rejected, dejected, unwanted and hated. But I think I must shake off tt feeling and not think so much. I know being left out is nt a gd feeling. So I apologise to all those who felt neglected cos I didn't tok to u or cos I look like I'm ignornig ya... I know e feeling, to feel neglected is horrid and I hope u ppl wld accept my apologies. And to those who once make me feel neglected... YOU ARE SO GOING TO PAY FOR IT... XD Wahahhax.. jus jk... XD I think tt's so much fr all e tots I hv now. I think its a lot. So congratz on ur finish to reading this entry cos I know I'm nt interesting enuff to entertain you yea~? Cya soon... *poof*

p.s. hahax.. I'm in e Shrimps Family... tt sounds interesting! Lols. XD