Monday, January 24, 2005 | 11:31 PM

I'm not sure of my next step... =[

I consider myself rather close to my OGLs... Perhaps nt tt close but at least a level closer than other OGMs? I think I must thank MSN lorz. Cos personally I don't talk to them much face to face. *sighs* Maybe a HI in e mornings is easy to come by. But to fully interact and talk like nobody's business... Hahaz... I'm afraid its nt an ez task to accomplish but I suppose I'll wk towards tt.

Yeh... nt tt I dun wanna know e J1 cohort but ppl of e same age get tog way more ezly so I dun hv to put in any effort to socialise mahz... I don't know if I'll be able to finalise this task. Lolx. But really.. its impt to build a gd freindship base... Cos knowing more ppl in sch wld make every wake in e morning more pleasant. U look forward to sch. Every few steps u come across a friend of urs. This feeling is gd. And I long for it. But it will be a long way before I achieve it lor. Not tt I'm anti-social... I can't say I'm un-shy right... Well... Irony here. Its confusing la. I don't know how to put it in words but what I feel is that I've got this burning desire to know all of them... not just superficially but more internally lor. I suppose I sound like a maniac... =X But this is it lor. Not easy task to me...

Yeh, like I told Lx tt I saw him on e bus but I hv no absolutely no idea what to talk even if I'm to sit w/ him. Hey's tt's a dude there... Wad if its a gal.. wah... I'll BLUSH until my fact can be placed on S'pore's flag... Wahaha... Lx said shld I feel like sitting w/ him then *just jus do it* Wahaha... Easier said than done. Hey, u jus gotta sit there. I move my butt there and sit dwn... I feel like I so thick-skinned liddat... But I guess being thick-skinned wld be e ffirst step to socialising... BUT again I'm self-conscious... so It'll be hard to make the first step lorz... Wahz. I guess u guys gotta help me man... or else u all graduate liaoz... I think I still only know ur names only. That... will be e joke of the century. And I"ll be the clown of tt joke. =[ *sad* What to do... wad to do... SIGH... Its sort of like peer pressure but its not negative and its more like my part of this whole thing. Eeeeeeew... I'm so not good at socialising... Awww...

Lessons as usual. Mrs Gay announced tt she'll leave aft wk 5 cos she got some course thingy. OMG. The class was like awww... so sad. We mean it. No sarcasm. She was a really fantastic teacher. No pressure frm her and she take us as independent learners. Tt's like so COOL! She wants us to sms her when ur results are out in end of Feb whether we are staying in TPJC... Hahaz... I can tell her now tt I'M STAYING. The OGLs did a gr8 job in making us feel home here... right SIRIUS?!!! Kewl...

Had GP.. suppose to do debate w/in e class. Wad de... I'm one of e speaker. Gd luck to me man. I hope I dun make a mess outta it. Math was like s***. I dun understand like 70% of e lecture. SiCk... Chem also lor.. 1/2 e time I was jus copying frm Sherline or frm e whiteboard. Wahahaz... damn slack. Until now still haven't do my water notes or read up on Bio. But 1st 3 mths mahz.. so enjoy lor. I dun wanna become like nerd nerd liddat. No life sia... And to those nerds... pls dun spoil the zest of life here in TPJC... (wahahaz... I think I can remove myself frm the 'toot-toot' list... wahahaz...).

Went w/ Mastura, Yun Fang, Adeline and Pillai to PR park. Wanted to jog but in e end I'm e only one doing e running. But my calves giving me e pain so I had to stop... mus be insuff strectching again! Took some pics of the beach... woah.. so shiok sia.. e wind in e hair... and feel the salty air... Hahaz... Basically tt's wad tt run thru my mind. Rather complicated. I dun even know what I shld do on e bus tmr. Dun tok is like so proud... talk? Then also dunno what I can say... sigh! Argh.. *cOmPlIcAtEd*