Tuesday, January 11, 2005 | 7:45 PM

DEPRESSED...
I'm really in for depression! So sianz. Just returned frm sch. Don't know why but I stood in the showers for 10 mins in complete blank mind. Erm, not totally blank but jus some lil' tots running thru my mind. Even till now, I'm like super quiet... My family was like... Wah... u never speak frm the moment u reached home until now lehz... Something's up in sch. I shrugged cos I really don't know why I'm so gloomy. Maybe its insufficient sleep? Wadeva.
Anyway, had Tennis game today. I didn't really play much. I played like -.-lll And it wasn't any sort of impressive. Even if I did have some so-so shots, I guess those must be the lucky shots. Cos I know I'm totally sucky at Tennis. I wonder if I shld even turn up for the trials tmr. Well, if I'm playing like a fool then I might as well not go cos I'll know the outcome le... And heard that many pple who went for the first trial was nt picked even if they had Tennis experience. Sianz... Guess I'll just have to slap myself together and forget abt joining Tennis le. =(
Didn't have much lessons today. Just Civics and Bio. and I'm not paying attention at all. What adds to my depression is that when I started to do the Math ws... I really feel like tearing up the whole paper! I mean I'm so confused... I don't know 70% of the questions... OMG... Sometimes I wonder if I shld change my career path.
But right now, I feel really lousy... And my biggest fear struck me today. That is, being unable to socialise when I'm with a crowd of pple. Erm, so its like I'm pretty lonely when Pillai, Yun Fang, Adeline, James, Mastura and Ranjani all left me in the Tennis court. I stood there like some fool.... =( And I hate that feeling... IT JUST TORE ME APART. I'm very sick up in my head now. Don't know what to do. Wadeva... wadeva... wadeva...